THERAPY

I'm a firm believer that each one of us needs to have ways that we can nurture ourselves and do it on a regular basis. It's a gift we give ourselves because it helps us keep our mental and emotional balance, and I honestly believe we deserve it.

Over the years, I've had several different ways of nurturing myself. What might have worked when my kids were young, didn't work in later years, as they grew older. My "therapy" changes with the phases of my life, and to be honest, I haven't found much that feeds my soul during this time of chemo treatments.

I used to get regular pedicures, feeling pampered with the massage and colored toes, but I can't have pedicures while undergoing chemo therapy due to the risk of infection. I used to love shopping or taking walks, but I haven't had the energy or motivation it takes to walk through a mall or store or even around the block. I love the sunshine and call the summer my favorite time of year because of all the ways I can be outside, soaking up the glorious light and heat. But this summer I've had to make sure I don't get much sun exposure. The chemicals in my body and the sun just don't mix (I've been told I'd burn very easy and most likely break out into a rash).

Even reading sometimes takes too much energy, and my books and blogs are ignored. And I used to feel like my writing (on my blog) was therapeutic, but have had no motivation to do this over the past few months.

So when I picked up a rental car a couple of days ago and the employee showed me how to put down the top on this sweet little convertible - and left it down, what was I supposed to do? Yes, it was in the middle of the day, sun shining and temps near the 90s. I knew I shouldn't drive home with the top down, even though home wasn't too far away. I thought it through, knew what I should do, but decided I was going to do what I wanted to do instead.

And it was glorious!
It was a gift!
It was therapeutic!

I drove it with the top down again the next day, during the heat of the day. And when Don got off work, we took a long drive enjoying the sun setting over our majestic rocky mountains. I took it out this morning, knowing I'd have to return it in the afternoon. No particular place to go - just wanting to enjoy driving with the wind whipping around me, the sun shining down on me, smelling the trees and flowers, and feeling a freedom I haven't felt for a while.

The only thing that could have made the experience any better was if I could feel the wind blowing through my hair.