THE WIG

I've had a wonderful week. I met with friends over lunch or dinner. I ran errands and did a little shopping. I did normal housework and fixed dinner. Food tasted like it was supposed to. Saturday, I attended a wedding of a young lady we used to have in youth group and have remained friends with the family. And I've made it to church two weeks in a row. I've felt good (just a little tired at times) and it felt good to be out and about or feel like a normal person contributing to my home and family.

But there's a down side to feeling good and wanting to be out and about and that would be my fears and insecurities about being seen without my natural hair. I basically have two choices of what I want to look like. Those choices would be bald with a hat or unnatural (or fake) with a wig. As time has gone by and I've worn the hats and wig more, I've become more used to being seen this way, but it's still not a very comfortable feeling. I kinda have to psyche myself up each time I walk out the door.

I wore the wig both to the wedding yesterday and to church today and received many compliments; how natural it looked, and how much the coloring and style is so much like what my hair used to look like. And for the most part, those statements are true, but all I can see when I look in the mirror is this fake hair on my head and all I can think about when I'm wearing it out in public is that other people are saying to themselves, "that is so obviously a wig!" and/or "she looks funny in that wig."

Like I said, though, the more I wear it, or the hats, the easier it has gotten. Something else has made it easier, too. A friend who has survived cancer wrote me some beautiful words of encouragement and this was part of her message:

"The looks you see when someone first approaches you, isn’t a reflection of you…but a thought that everyone goes through...this could be my mom, daughter, sister, grandmother, friend…etc. It’s a solemn thought and a loving moment. Just a reminder. Just running into you might remind that next person to get their mammogram, do their self-check or just tell someone they love them."

I hear those word when I notice someone staring at me a little too long or giving me strange smile, or when I'm worried that someone looks at me with pity. They have given me strength and comfort. Thank you again K.R.

And since some of you that don't live near me have asked me to post a picture of me in my wig, this is for you...
P.S. I'm not fishing for compliments here. I'm just sharing how I feel as part of the process of losing my hair. I process I wouldn't wish on any woman.