PUBLIC VIEWING

Back when I started thinking about losing my hair, I came to the conclusion that I would spend my whole summer inside my house. I wasn't going to go out and have people see me in such a state. I resigned myself to this fate.

But just two days after the traumatic event, I had to make a decision that would shake my resolve to stay away from public eyes. Memorial Day weekend is graduation weekend around here and we were invited to over eight parties. Three parties were for kids who not only did we have in our youth group but were of close family friends. I really wanted to go to these celebrations.

This has been the end of my "good" week and have felt my best since my treatment nearly three weeks ago, so I knew that wasn't going to be a factor. I decided that I could handle stopping in at the first party (Friday night) wearing my wig. I felt very uncomfortable but figured attending this party was worth the discomfort, and it was.

We attended the other two parties on Saturday. I chose to wear a big sun hat instead of the wig. It was a cute accessory to my summer attire but it was obvious to anyone looking at me that I had lost my hair. I figured we would stop in, give our congratulations to the families, and then leave fairly quickly.

But something happened at the first party that changed our plans for that day, and subsequently, from this point on. There were a few people at the party that we knew from our previous church who knew what I was going through and greeted me with such love and acceptance that it threw me a little. Sitting and talking with these old friends made me realize that if they didn't care what I looked like, maybe I shouldn't put as much importance on it either.

Going to the second party was a piece of cake. We only knew a couple of people but even when those I didn't know looked at me a little longer than necessary, I was able to not let it bother me. I can say it's been a process to get to this place, a place where I feel okay going out in public, either with the wig on or wearing some sort of hat or scarf. I'm just amazed that I've been able to come to this place in my journey so quickly. I'm sure I'll still have some apprehension whenever I have to go out, but I won't let fear win. I have a few parties, some good friends and old acquaintances to thank for this.

I felt so good after the parties that I agreed to go out once again in public. I put on a different hat, headed to Coors Field, and watched the Rockies crush the Dodgers 11-3. It was a perfect ending to such a wonderful day.