LAST MINUTE CALL

My surgeon called this morning and left a message. She said she wanted to talk to me about something she touched on at the first meeting we had but didn’t at the second. She then mentioned something about the MRI showing how big of a mass this cancer is.

I couldn’t call her right back and we then played phone tag until mid afternoon. I felt sick that whole time. I didn’t know what she was going to tell me. I’m already nervous enough and trying to stay positive and all I could think of was that she’s going to tell me it’s worse than I think it is.

We finally made contact, and she just reiterated the fact that even though the MRI shows a larger mass than the ultrasounds and mammograms, it might not be as big as it is shown and she still recommends a lumpectomy. But she also wanted to remind me that it might come down to having to have a second surgery which would be a mastectomy (and it would cost more).

Although I was relieved to hear this instead of a report telling me the cancer is bigger or worse than she originally thought, it made me, once again, second guess my decision not to have a mastectomy in the first place.

As she says, it’s easier to go back and take more, if that’s what needs to be done. If she took it all, there’s no going back and replacing what’s been taken, after realizing that not all if it needed to be taken. Still……..